MST Theater Gaiden: A MLU Deconstruction Fic

*Jaynis struggled to get to his feet, finding himself inside a seemingly-empty theater room; currently-present, was David, who was meditating. Also sitting in the theater, just as the screen turned on, was Vicks, Wedge, and Zach.

Jaynis: You four...look familiar. Have we met?
David: Can't say we have.
Zach: Same with you, whoever you are. Nevertheless, we got something new to take a crack at.
Wedge: Today, we're looking at one part of a fanfic that's a reimagining of that pigshit My Brave Pony fanfic.
Jaynis: And let's see how the author managed to do that one.
Vicks: Yeah, let's roll that.

Introduction:

So,there was this alternate world, that was pretty similar to ours, only with magic being more notorious and space travelling a constant reality,

Zach: Huh...seems legit.

of course there was a constant and bruning conflict between the two groups, From the cynic scientists,the group that relied on magic was deeply inmersed in their own warped visions of the so called “Idealism”being stubborn,stupid and sassy, on the other hand the Idealistic mages saw the CYNIC scientists as cold, cunning and cruel planners who never cared for anyone but their own,

David: Someone needs to work on punctuation a little.
Jaynis: Idealists vs. Cynics... Where have I seen a conflict like this before?

and there was the group that had no scientific knowledge or magical abilities, nonetheless they had realistic determination and guts, they were the doers of the three groups, while the mages were the feelers and the scientists the thinkers,

Wedge: Essentially, it's the whole Earth Pony/Pegasus/Unicorn thing in Equestria, only more realistic.
Jaynis: A lot of good "realism" does in Doomworld.

two groups in a fiery tension and the third group being a strong willed mediator.

David: Looks like someone put more thought into this than that rabid anti-brony ever could.
Jaynis: Not that it's particularly hard to do, but it's a good start.

Despite this world being fantastically mundane, or mundanely fantastical,

Vicks: Or just plain fantastic?
David: That sounds about right.

they had real conficts and seemed to advance backwards now, slavery was reintroduced with the excuse that minorities lived longer and better under the control of a powerful mayority,

Jaynis: "Majority", you mean?
Zach: Because slavery always goes over well with Human Rights groups.
Vicks: Or Pony Rights groups, if they exist.

The main role of females was to be a love interest, and only the attractive females were allowed to be in love with other females, just for the sake of eye candy.

Vicks: Or, if they were of the anthropomorphic variety, much like King Moron's interpretation of such, some of said females would get their T&A pumped up to be more like the equivalent of Jessica Rabbit.
Jaynis: *sighs* Great...
David: While the grannies become obsessed with baking lots of cookies, assisted by floating cursors poking away at a giant cookie in the sky.
Jaynis: You guys are on something, you know that?

The rulers this land faced were extreme caricatures of the three groups,

Zach: Oh, this'll be fun.

there was the brutish and vain Inuvi, who ordered every person with pale skin to wear black, and every dark skinned person had to wear red clothes,

Jaynis: Inuvi... Oooh, I know this one.
Wedge: Preps beware the wrath of Queen Inuvi.

she deemed every non supermodel person as useless and they had to get extreme plastic surgery, or get imprisoned if they could not afford the surgery,her motto was “Work Hard, Party Harder. Shop in the hottest stores. Beauty is in! Ugly is out!” which gave away her shallow interests, the world under her rule was a wretched hive of senseless hedonism and looks void of personality,

Zach: That's totally not gonna bite her in the ass.

so she got kicked out and killed because, to add further insult she ruined the economy of the world, wasted most of the reserves and had no personality nor magic powers or scientific ability,

Zach: Oh, wait...
Wedge: Well, that's what happens when you pull a Caligula. Eventually, your rule will come crashing down.

but to the surprise of many she was crying on the day her rule and life ended, she truly thought what people wanted was beauty and fun;

Jaynis: I think she was trying to save her own ass.
David: Being that hedonistic? At the expense of her own kingdom? She pretty much had it coming.
Wedge: Makes you wonder what took her own people that long to overthrow her.

Then came the narcisistic and childlish Krishyan

Jaynis: Oh hai Not-Chris-Chan.

ho founded a cult of personality after himself, because of his need of feeling the love of others, and decided that his blood was the source of an end of same sex relationships,

Zach: Ending same-sex relationships because of the ruler's blood... I'd rather not dwell on that.
Jaynis: Nor would the rest of us in here.

he was far more impulsive than his predecesor, he had people tortured just for insulting him, and used his magic to punish them in the most repulsive ways,

David: Thank you, author, for not listing said repulsive ways.
Vicks: It'd either be a pretty big list, or said ways would be something right out of Soni-
Jaynis: Don't finish that sentence, please!
Vicks: Oh, sorry.

too bad that despite his ways he had almost ended slavery,

Wedge: Just when a tyrant was just about to do something good for once...

and allowed people to wear what they wanted, nonetheless he got imprisoned by the very people he tortured,

Jaynis: Who's the next ruler gonna be? Ash Oracle?

and the next ruler was Braune, who grew in a conservative and orderly home with her militaristic cousin who raised her in his ways,

Zach: Who is that ruler supposed to be an expy of?
Jaynis: Probably that of the one author who wrote the MLP equivalent of Prayer Warriors, and Prayer Warriors did no favors to Christians in general.
David: *muttering* Good luck telling that to those fucking fundies. At least the Prayer Warriors author shuffled off the mortal coil.

and it showed, except for the disproportionate responses he gave, since she was far more calmer and forgiving, but that didnt excuse her persecution of non believers,and the brainwashing and erasing the identity of those who didnt follow her beliefs of a greater good,

Jaynis: A space between "believers," and "and" would be sufficient.
Wedge: And Braune's definition of a "greater good" is more of the same tyranny, I take it.

or questioned her cruel mercy, she fell ill and had to retire with her ideals of a greater good; and the current ruler rised, a young, attractive and intelligent male who went by the name Maiekhaen

Jaynis: And the expy of you-know-who is here.

and had the raw force of Inuvi, the powerful magic of Krishyan and the vast knowledge of Braune, he was far more competent than his predecesors, but far more reserved and secretive too.

Wedge: Not that we'd want to know about such secrets.

But not everything was as sour as it seemed, scientists, mages and normals worked toghether in harmony and peace,and deep down, they all seeked coexistence for every group, no matter how impossible this task seemed,

Jaynis: The bickering isn't really helping much, though.
David: And you know what Shin Megami Tensei had to say about opposing groups, where one outcome is no better than the other.

and you got to think about it, as long as you believe in your ideals you'll be able to find the tools to help you pursue what you really want and if we work togheter we can make this a greater world .

Wedge: Yeah, good luck pulling that off in a world where corporate greed and competition, at the expense of human life, rules the day. And that world, itself, puts Australia to shame in terms of everything trying to kill you.
Vicks: Or a world where scientists repeat the same experimental blunder time and time again, unleasing the legions of Doomworld. Just ask Doomguy.
David: Or a world where the angels are monstrous beings that just look holy in appearance, and said world's only hope is apparently a witch who uses her hair as a weapon.
Jaynis: Or a world where killer animatronics come to life at night at a pizzeria. *aside* Then again, you'd have to have a death wish taking a job there.
Zach: Or a world where two teams of mercs kill each other in gladiatorial combat. Or trade hats when outside of combat.

Chapter 1:

In the Pearlie Population, home of the whitest people one would ever meet, so white they would make snow white seem a tanning queen by comparison,

David: Or make those Laguna angels seem soot-gray, even.

and the cast of “friends” racially diverse, lived a young, enthusiastic slave who went by the name of “AO0C”

Jaynis: There's that barcode again.
David: At least it's a plot point, in this case.

he was highly optimistic despite not knowing his parents and only having a female parrot with purple, yellow and orange feathers as companion, he knew that the Grand Ruler always seeked the best in his loyal subjects, his whole life was good and happiness in slavery and nothing could ever change,

Zach: Happiness in slavery... *cringes* I don't like the sound of that.
Jaynis: Maybe he's broken up deep down.
David: At least it's not a fairy this time.

not even his low self steem and insecurities. Until one day...

_ CRAAAAAAAA!!!_ squacked the loyal parrot of AO0C, while it didnt mean anything in concrete, he taught her a wide variety of sounds that indicated different things, like for example in this case, incoming danger.

David: I'd use quotation marks more.

_ What is it Chrysanthemun Talisman? Uhhh.... you want some... ah..... oh right! Danger!_

_ CRAA! CRAAA!_ continued Chrysanthemun Talisman while flying around the albino's head, normally she just sat quietly in AO0C's shoulder, but now she was yelling like a maniac, which naturally worried her owner who didnt know what to do.

David: Or is too stupid to do so.
Zach: Or unaware of the danger lurking nearby.

_ uh......lemme search fo' the papers... here they are! Please write whats happening Chrysanthemun Talisman!_


_ “ I sense a force of darkness incoming, great danger lies ahead, buried under a pile of shining diamonds flows blood, which will erupt trying to anhilate the peace people are working in, your help will be needed”

Vicks: Well, that's a start in the quotation marks department.
Wedge: If it's not gonna be a repeat of MLU's ripping-off of the pilot episode, then we wouldn't really mind.

_Aw, thats just plain nasty! You know our ruler wouldnt let us succumb to darkness, you know, uhh... perhaps you just had a bad dream, thats all, here take this fruits, you love fruits, take them.

David: How cute. AO0C assumes that the message implied succumbing to darkness.
Vicks: Because fully succumbing to the light's any better.
David: *to Jaynis* Believe me, I've seen something like that happen. It's...not pretty.

_ Squaaa! _ said the parrot happily as she gobbled on the fruit, though she still would let paranoid “Craas” out, she had a secret sense of sensing danger and security, but also knew that her owner, who didnt like to be called an owner, but rather a companion , was altruistic and kind and very trustworthy.

David: A little bit more showing would also do nicely.

_ So you are saying you need my help to stop the incoming darkness, but did you noticed i-im just a... how you say it, normal? I really want to help, but i cannot_

_ “ There's a kind of puissant energy that's bestowed upon yourself, its far more powerful than the magic tricks, far more useful than the scientific facts, far more strong than the raw force, pure energy that you hold, but you awaking it will only be plausible if you believe in ”

Jaynis: Hopefully the belief thing will be more clear than the original POS.
David: Faith alone doesn't work without something to believe in. But telling that to King Moron will go nowhere fast.

Before the parrot could finish her sentence a swarm of bees surounded the room AO0C lived in, he was quietly observing the small insects with a confused look, wondering why were they wasting their equally small times in the residence of a slave, there was nothing but plenty of space, little food to remain slender and locked doors and windows so he couldnt get lost or cold, AO0C gazed at his partner who was scared of the swarm that invaded their home, perhaps that was the incoming darkness that she warned about earlier? Well, the answer was obvious, she was really afraid of the bees, specially when they raided the house and came by surprise; threat or not their were invading their only propierty and had to be stopped, he reached for the “Smacker” only to be stopped by a hand that was not of his owner, or from his town, since it was peachy pink instead of milky white.


_ Hey! Knock it off! My babies didnt do anything!_


_ Uh... actually they were frightnening my partner.....and … they are very suspicious looking, you know..._

Jaynis: And still, more use of those "_" marks instead of quotation marks.
Vicks: On another note, bees. My god.

_ Oh sorry, i did not want to come across as rude, my most sincere apologies, that was not a very good first impression, was it? Oh! And there is a reason why the girls were visiting you by surprise, right B-52?_ And he glaced at the petite bug who danced along with her peers, he went back to the conversation with AO0C and pointed a corner near his bed_ There it is! The wondrous source of delicious nectar!


_ T-that? You know... it.... it doesnt have anything, uh.... i am sorry if i ruined the surprise and excitement... _

David: So the bees have names, too?
Wedge: Well, at least we know the bees aren't of the killer variety.

_ Haha! No worries! Not everyone can sense the pH of the plants! In fact, Im the only person i know that has that ability, you see, you have pretty pretty pretty flowers so pretty i have to repeat that word PRETTY!!_


He proceeded to dig on the ground and gather plenty of plants which were very dusty and made AO0C sneeze because of all the dust, the newcomer was quick to hand the slave some tissues and clean off the dust the plants have collected, he was really dextrous and fast, he packed three pyramids of fresh, radiant plants ready to grow, AO03 and Chrysanthemun Talisman were both amazed and mesmerized, the parrot didnt even pay atention to the bees who were just ready to do their job.

Zach: And we know what bees are good at, don't we?
David: Causing Nicholas Cage to overreact to them. Hilariously so.

_ This bulb is a tulip, tulips are strong but humble flowers, they resist low temperatures and strong winds, they need a normal ammount of water, if you give them water in excess they could die of suffocation, this one is a Rose, if you give them sunny places and moist soil,they wont hesitate about showing their gratitude towards you, this one is a seed ready to become a sunflower, normally they are not this shy, so i must ask you if you let me take care of this sweetie, these little perky babies are lavender strains, they are very suspicious and hard to trust, but if you take good care of them, they wont be problem, this one is a narcissus, so vain as its beautiful, this is a rare orchid bulb, very exigent too! Oh, oh, oh! Lookie! This one is my favourite, this lovely flower is called a Chrysanthemun, or gold flower, growing in the windy autumn, and its undisputed queen, harnessing the power of life, death, pure love, happiness and raw perfection!_

David: Or the more predatorial ones, such as the pitcher plant and the venus flytrap. Or Audrey II.

_You are so erudite! I uh... didnt even know i had a garden this big under the room i live in!uh... well... you know, i have a partner who shares a name with your favourite flower, she is very loyal, um... CHRYSANTHEMUN TALISMAN! Could you uh... say hi?_


The parrot tweeted a catchy melody, which was her way of saluting people who had positive energy, more positive energy was translated in a catchier tweet, if there was no positive energy whatsoever she would screech loudly hurting the ears of the listener, the visitor gladly smiled at Chrysanthemun Talisman who wrote on the ground


_ “It truly is an honor to know someone that possess great knowledge about the floral kingdom, my partner and i are intrigued and amazed by your ability, and wish you could help us on the mission of stopping the looming darkness that approachs the universe”

Jaynis: And the conversation thing also could use some work.
David: And "I" should be capitalized.

_ Woah there, Chryssy! You worry too much! There's no need to engage in such silly superstitions! Well, if you need my sustenance, go to Peach Parade and ask for Buddy Rose, thats me. If i lose my possesions, ill still have the code that was given to me “ F T 5 H” make sure you remember it! Oh! Whats YOUR name, dude?


_ I – uh..... my ...name...is like.... uh..it is.... uh.... AO0C i dont have a real name, and i cant go outside unless requested by my master, Don Celesto.

Jaynis: Don Celesto... Ahh, looks like Grand Dipshit's been demoted.

_ Yeah, whatever, here, take this guide it will help you to learn how to grow your plants, destiny has favoured you! Bye!_ He left as soon as he went in the small room along with the bees that danced a formal goodbye.


The amusement of AO0C soon transformed in sadness, envy and regret, the gardener had scientifically plausible abilities, velocity and agility, on the other hand, he was a slave who only cleaned stuff, gathered things, worked on fields, served food and had no usefulness whatsoever, but most importantly, Buddy Rose had a name, and most certainly a loving and caring family who expressed their unconditional love, AO0C soon realized that he was separated of his parents at birth and the only time another person addressed him was to give cold orders, cruel berating and the only contact he experienced were the cruel punishments he got, he was too blind to see that his life was a lie,

Jaynis: Oh, actual character development in the first chapter? This could be more interesting, definitely.
David: And you guys know about the punctuation thing, right?
Wedge: Yes, we do.

the only moment of true happiness he knew was with Chrysanthemun Talisman, who sadly was not going to have a long lifespan and would left him all alone and helpless, for the first time in his life, he cried, his crying was not elegant or manly in the minimal, instead it was a loud, erratic sobbing that he sheathed inside, Chrysanthemun Talisman tried to cheer him up, but he cried even more.

….................................................................................................................................................................

Zach: And that's it for the chapter. It's looking promising.
David: The author's gotta work on the punctuation and capitalizing "I" as well.
Jaynis: Other than that, it still outdoes King Moron's story.

*The fanfic screen soon shut off.*

Jaynis: So, what fanfic should we do for next time?
David: Well, only time will tell, I suppose.

*Little did the group know, one by one, mysterious life forms entered the theater room.*